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Here’s a film that proves I’m rubbish at poaching eggs. It’s always hit or miss for me – mostly miss.

I start off confidently with my tips: a deep pan of water at a gentle simmer, not a boil, and just a couple of drops of vinegar. Then you whisk the water to create a little whirlpool and drop in the egg. And… it went everywhere.

Attempt two: a gentler swirl, timer set for four minutes, hands off. It sort of resembles a poached egg. The white is cooked (I can’t bear it underdone) and so is the yolk – but it’s very flat. I’ve done it. Sort of. I still can’t poach an egg!